Being Sick on Vacation and Streamlining My Obligations

You guys. I mentioned yesterday that I was quite sick during the beginning of my trip to Florida last week, but that doesn't even begin to describe how awful it was. I seriously don't ever remember being that miserably sick for such an extended period in my life.

When my mom saw this picture on Facebook her reaction was "Oh honey, I can tell you don't feel well in this picture." Ouch!

I started feeling bad at the beginning of the week but figured I had caught whatever cold was going around the boy's house. Wednesday I woke up with such a bad headache that I took my first sick day since I started at Arlington Home Interiors in April. I dragged myself to school and left early because I felt so awful, went home and promptly fell asleep at 6:30 pm. The next morning I woke up feeling worse, and to make things more painful, it seemed that none of my over-the-counter drugs were helping. My usual go-to for headaches, Ibuprofen, was useless. Finally I found that Exedrin worked a little bit. Since I was leaving in the morning for Florida, I went to the doctor to see if they could figure out my ailment and give me something, anything, to make me feel better.

The LPN I saw diagnosed me with a sinus infection and gave me meds. I went to bed hoping I'd start to feel better, but instead I was up almost hourly throwing up (should have warned you that this is a gross story). Friday around 5:00 am I called Kyle and told him I wasn't sure I was going to make our flight to Florida, but by some miracle I mustered the strength to shower and get myself out the door. I felt so miserable by the time we got to the airport that the first thing I did when we arrived was puke in a trashcan. Like a small child. I seriously don't think I've done that since I was about eight. Once we made it through airport security and to our gate, I basically just sat at a table and cried while the boy tried his best to get me to eat something so that I could take some more Exedrin to feel better. Half of a smoothie seemed to do the trick, and I was feeling well enough to eat a whole bagel (whoa craziness) by the time we touched down to catch our connecting flight in Atlanta.

At some point on our drive from the airport to our hotel in Rosemary Beach, the Exedrin started to wear off and I went back to the dark place. I got sick again right before we got to the hotel (so close!), and after not-so-discretely disposing of that in the fancy hotel lobby trashcan, I took another Exedrin, and laid down for a quick nap so that I could hopefully have a little time to feel better before the Friday night pre-wedding festivities. When I think about how terrible I felt at points on Friday, I'm amazed that I was lucky enough to rally for anything that evening, let alone a nice cocktail party (sans-alcohol for me) involving a LBD and heals. As I was getting ready for the cocktail party the boy noticed a small rash running along the right side of my back around to my ribs. I didn't think much of it--probably connected to my mystery sickness, but nothing major.

Friday night into Saturday morning I was again in excruciating pain. I woke up and puked throughout the night and the headache I had was unrelenting. By the time the sun came up Saturday morning I knew I needed help. The sinus meds weren't helping at all, and if anything I felt worse than I did when I walked into the doctor's office on Thursday. Instead of walking around Rosemary Beach and enjoying the town on Saturday morning, the boy and I headed to an urgent care clinic in Panama City Beach.

By the time the doctor saw me I was starting to feel better thanks to my good ol' Exedrin. I told her how I had had a miserable headache for five days, that I felt achey, nauseous, and that nothing seemed to be helping. And oh yeah, this weird rash popped up on my back yesterday. That little rash that I thought nothing of was the key to my misery. The second she saw it, I had my diagnosis. "Those are definitely shingles," she said.

Shingles?! What am I, 65?! A little blood work and one trip to Publix later, I had my prescription painkiller, nausea meds, and the precious anti-viral meds that were going to make me feel so much better by the next day. I ended up missing the wedding ceremony of our friends, but I managed to make it to the reception.

Shingles is a re-activation of the chickenpox virus that causes deep nerve pain and a myriad of other symptoms, including the notable shingles rash that tends to run in a line around one side of your mid-section, and the migraine and nausea that I was experiencing. Shingles are pretty uncommon amongst young people, and they only emerge when your immune system is weakened for some reason. The lab looked at my blood work to make sure I didn't have something else lurking like Lyme disease that was weakening my immune system, but everything came back clean. So this is where the scary reality comes in: I probably got shingles because of the insanely high stress levels I've experienced lately.

When I think about it objectively, my life is no more chaotic than a lot of other people's lives, and I only have myself to worry about as opposed to a whole family. So this was partly my body's way of saying I best get my anxiety level in check. But natural anxiety levels aside, this is my own fault. I have been operating under a "Say yes and figure it out later" mentality for the past six months, and it finally caught up with me. With working my day job, completing my homework, picking, painting, and setting up my space at the barn, and trying to find time to spend with friends and loved ones, I have been a mess. I thought I could handle it, but having my decisions actually affect my health in such an obvious, painful way was a real wake up call for me. I can't believe I made myself that miserably sick and nearly ruined part of what was supposed to be a nice vacation for the boy and me. I can't keep this up. Something has to go.

Friends, I'm sad to announce that this weekend's December sale at Sweet Clover is going to be my last. My job is a must and school is a must, but the barn is the one thing on my list that isn't a necessity. As much as I love picking and working on furniture, knowing that I need to get a great dresser within the next week so that I can put something in the barn Saturday, even though I have class every night but Friday-Sunday and a project due Monday, stresses me out so much. Leaving the barn after a bad month where I hardly even made rent while living off my severely cut salary that I took to get a job in interior design stresses me out so much. Not ever having an entire weekend to dedicate to chores and schoolwork stresses me out so much. The reality is that I don't make much money at the barn, and that I can put lots of work into something with no guarantee that I'll see any profit from it--in fact, the only guarantee is that I'll spend money doing it. This is not a shock to me, I knew it going in, but I guess I didn't realize how much of a weight it would be on my shoulders.

Please please please know that this is by no means a knock against Sweet Clover. It is has wonderful business owners who work their tails off for the business and it's full of amazing stuff created and curated by very talented vendors. It's just that the nature of the handmade marketplace is that there's a lot of investment of time and money up front and a lot of uncertainty in the sales and profit. That's a little different than selling a service like interior design, where you have more certainty that you'll be paid for your time and your profit doesn't hinge upon you investing $X up front to buy and resell something.

If I had more time and if the boy and I had weekends to spend out in places like West Virginia and Pennsylvania I would expand my picking efforts and put another 6 months into this effort, but my reality is that I just can't. When I look at my various business opportunities, I realize that given my busy schedule and my limited resources, I'm probably wiser to provide a service than to try to buy and resell stuff. I'm not the first person to face this kind of a decision.

When I first realized I needed to let go of my space at Sweet Clover and perhaps my furniture refinishing obsession altogether, I was really bummed. I don't like to admit that I can't handle everything because I know there are so many intelligent women far more organized than I am who handle ten times what I do. But this is what will work for me, and the more I think about it, the more relieved I am. I can get off this merry-go-round of trying to find great stuff and painting it and hauling it and hoping and praying someone will buy it. I am ready to stop hoarding craft supplies and fabric and materials just incase I need something for the barn. I am ready to organize the wayward "stack" of magazines cascading from the side of my bed and to have clean underwear before I'm forced to wear my least favorite pair and to get my life in order.

The thing I'll miss most about being part of the Sweet Clover market is the very reason I got into it to begin with--the community. I have met great people there and I will miss seeing them on a regular basis and collaborating with them to make the business great. I will definitely keep in touch with those people and continue to shop at Sweet Clover, and I hope you will too!

Speaking of shopping, the good news for you is that my stuff will be on sale this weekend in an effort to get rid of as much of it as possible, so come get something if you like it! All the stuff in my booth with a red bow on it is on sale, and I've marked down lots of accessories too. Many other items will be on sale this weekend throughout the barn in an effort to clear out things that have been sitting for a couple months and make way for fresh, new pieces for the January sale, so it's a great time to come snag a deal. Hope to see you there!

Thanksgiving Vacation, Florida Style

 Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday!

As you may have noticed if you follow me on Instagram, the boy and I spent last week in Florida. On the Friday before Thanksgiving we flew down to Ft. Walton Beach in the Florida panhandle and drove to Rosemary Beach to celebrate the wedding of a couple friends. We splurged a bit and stayed at The Pearl, the luxury boutique hotel where the bride and groom has reserved a room block. It was AWESOME. We don't get to travel much, and when we do it's always on a budget. So when we walked into a hotel where they immediately offered us champagne and gave us a tour of the facilities while the valet parked our car and the bellman took our belongings upstairs made us feel slightly like Kevin McAllister in Home Alone 2. Make it three, I'm not driving. I was looking so grungy after our six hour indirect flight and drive to the hotel that I seriously expected them to say, "I'm sorry, I think the budget motel you're looking for is down the street." Thankfully, they didn't.

Turn down service comes with fresh baked cookies, naturally.

The bathroom had a TV in the mirror and the boy was OBSESSED with it.

The Rosemary Beach town square was all lit up and gorgeous.

My hair looks like shiznit in this picture which is a total result of being so sick that I slept as long as possible and basically stuck my hair in a damp pony for the wedding. NOT a proud moment.

I was actually quite sick for the beginning of the trip, so unfortunately I could hardly enjoy our plush king bed and the wonderful little shops and restaurants at our doorstep (more on that sickness to come later). I also struggled through the wedding reception and had about one glass of champagne all weekend. Lucky for me, I started to feel much better in time for us to drive from Rosemary down to Clearwater on Sunday, where we spent the rest of the week with the boy's parents who live down there during part of the year.

It was the first Thanksgiving I've ever spent away from my family which made me sad, but I was happy that the boy and I could spend our first real holiday together. After spending countless Thanksgivings in Syracuse with family I'm used to seeing my first snow over Thanksgiving, so it felt kind of funny eating turkey with a palm tree right outside our door. Although considering the kind of weather the rest of the east coast was getting over the holiday, I'm happy I was able to stay warm(ish) and dry in Florida.

This is the view from the boy's grandma's apartment in a retirement community. Not bad, eh?

Despite being sick and enjoying unseasonably cold weather in Florida, I had a great time. Now I'm home and kicking it into high gear so that I can get all my grad school projects finished in the next two weeks. Wish me luck!

4th of July Weekend Recap

Last Wednesday the boy and I flew to Tampa to hang out with his family over the 4th of July long weekend. He grew up in Northern VA like me, but his parents have an apartment on the beach in Clearwater and spend a lot of time down there, so we stayed at their place.

The boy's dad is a frequent, frequent, frequent flier and was kind enough to buy our flights with miles. We were even able to fly first class down! It was my first time flying first class, and we took full advantage of the free beverage service. 

After arriving in Tampa late Wednesday night, we went to bed and woke up early so we could get some beach time before heading up to Gainesville to visit the boy's brother at the University of Florida.   

We stayed with the boy's brother in a house with 5 other guys from his frat. It wasn't technically a frat house, but it basically was. Luckily they had some "new" couches that were in acceptable sleeping condition. And we were only there one night, so we didn't have to shower there (thank god). It was the boy's brother's 21st birthday AND the 4th of July, so there was quite a bit going on. We tried to keep up, but one thing is for sure: we're not in college anymore.

On our way back to Clearwater the next day, we got stuck in some major traffic and it took us what felt like forever to get home. We wanted to hit the beach, but it started storming like crazy shortly after we walked through the door. If there's one thing I learned about Florida last weekend, it's that the weather there is predictably unpredictable. It can be perfectly gorgeous and five minutes later, raining so hard you can't see out your windshield. Or it can be pouring rain as you walk out of a restaurant but the apartment where you're staying a mile away is completely dry. And then there's the heat lightning, which is kind of a fake out because you're so used to the stormy weather that at night you can hardly tell whether it's heat lightning or lightning from an actual storm that's headed your way. Here's my advice for Florida in the summer: bring a raincoat. 

I was pretty happy it rained Friday because I wasn't in much condition to do anything but sleep, which is how we spent our rainy afternoon. Friday night we went out to eat at Crabby Bill's in Indian Rocks Beach. The atmosphere was fun and I enjoyed my fried crab cakes, but the service was a little slow and not everyone was happy with their food. It seems like a great place to go with kids, but our overall feeling towards it was "meh". This time at least. The boy's family has been going there for a while, so it's definitely worth checking out. Maybe it was just an off night.

Saturday and Sunday we spent some quality time on the beach, followed by some quality time at the pool. Saturday night we ate at an Italian place called Villa Gallace per the birthday boy's request, and it was delicious. Naturally I ate way too much lasagna, but still made room for some yummy red velvet cake from Frida's Cafe & Bakery. 

Sunday night we ate at a small dive place called Dock Side Dave's in Madeira Beach. They have great seafood, especially grouper, which is a speciality in Tampa. The boy's parents swear by their grouper sandwiches, which are humongous and are served a number of different ways. I had the grouper tacos and they were awesome, too. 

After dinner, the boy and I hit up a few local bars and then called it a night. The next morning we woke up and made our journey back to DC. 

It was the first time I've been on a true vacation in a while, so it was really nice to take advantage of the opportunity to spend some time with the boy and relax on the beach. I'm really looking forward to the next beach trip we have planned--this time to North Carolina! 

How did you spend your holiday weekend? 

A Weekend of Family, Wine, and Dementia

While the rest of DC was overwhelmed with Inauguration festivities over the weekend, I took a trip with my family to visit my grandma in Geneva, New York. It was the first time in as long as I can remember that a journey to visit Grandma didn't involved a trip to my dad's hometown of Verona, New York. The family moved Grandma to an assisted living home in Geneva a few years ago when everyone realized that she wasn't safe living on her own. Now she lives close to my aunt (about an hour from where she used to live), so instead of staying at Grandma's house and using that as the central meeting spot like we always used to do, we stayed in a hotel and all met up at my aunt's house.

It felt weird to go somewhere different, but I really enjoyed staying in Geneva. It's located on Seneca Lake (one of the Finger Lakes) and has beautiful views. Because it was settled in the late 1700s, the town is full of amazing historic architecture. There were a bunch of restaurants and shops that I wish we had time to check out, but we'll have to do that next time we're in town.

Friday evening we arrived and and went out to eat at Halsey's in downtown Geneva. After enjoying some gourmet pizza there, we ventured over to my aunt's house for a little while before retiring to our hotel on the lake...which unfortunately involved my sister and I sharing a double bed while my brother got his own.

Saturday we spent the day at my aunt's house, which was chock full of grandmas, aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins' kiddos, two dogs, and three cats. One of the dogs was my cousin's huge boxer, Chevy. Despite his 90 lbs hulk-like frame, he's a hugger. My sister could not get enough of him, which was photographed on many occasions throughout the weekend. The cats were also really friendly, but I had to avoid petting them since I'm allergic to cats (bummer).

After we took Grandma back to her place Saturday night, the rest of the family met up at our hotel bar. It sounds a little lame, but it was so much fun to get out of the house and visit late into the evening with family I don't get to see very often.

Sunday morning we had breakfast with two of my cousins who were leaving that day, and then picked Grandma up and took her to lunch. Afterwards, we dropped off Grandma and headed to my dad's cousin's house to visit with her. She recently purchased one of the historic homes on South Main Street in downtown Geneva, so we took advantage of the trip and got a tour of her new place while we were there. South Main Street is listed on the National Register of Historic Places. Her house, built in the early 1800s, is one of the oldest row houses on the street. As a result of the historical significance, she knows a lot more about her house than most people do about their homes, like when specific additions were built, the fact that the house was at one point connected to the house next door, that the original front doors were likely imported from Italy, and a whole host of other info. You can even see historical photos of the property on a website dedicated to the South Main Street historic district.  The house was SO cool. I snapped a few photos with my phone while I was there.

After we toured our cousin's house, she took us to White Springs Winery where she works a day or two a week. Seneca Lake is lined with vineyards and wineries because the lake moderates the climate in the area and makes the hills around it good for grape growing. It's becoming a popular destination for wine tour vacations, so it was fun to take advantage of the family connection and have a personal wine tasting in the area. You can learn more about the Seneca Lake Wine Trail through their website. Once we were done with our excursions, we headed back to my aunt's house for dinner and football watching.

Of course the only picture I took during our trip to the winery was of a rug that I loved, which was hanging on the wall. 

For as much fun as I had with the family, this trip was a big reminder that I'm not a kid anymore. One of the weirdest things about growing up is that all the stuff you knew would probably happen, but you could never really imagine happening, is happening now. For the most part the changes are good. Two of my cousins have children. One of my cousins is getting married in September. Another is renovating a house with her husband and son. Almost all the cousins are over 21 at this point, which means we can enjoy fun evenings in a hotel bar together.

Other changes are rough. My Grandma has dementia...or is it Alzheimer's now? I'm not sure at this point. As a result of a few falls and a confused "escape" from the assisted living facility, she is now in a locked wing that is for people with memory problems. They take good care of her and she is safest there, but it still feels weird to walk into the place and be greeted by a room full of elderly people asleep in chairs "watching" kittens play on Animal Planet. This is not how I remember Grandma, though I suspect I am not as she remembers me. Is this how everyone feels? That their loved ones just don't seem to belong in a place like that yet even when they do? Interesting how denial and dementia can play the same tricks on you.

I look terrible in this photo but everyone else looks good. I REALLY need a haircut. I also need to stop parting my bangs so far over. It makes my face look fat. 

Thankfully, Grandma remembers us and has plenty of lucid moments, like when she was pleased when Syracuse basketball won a close game Saturday night (Grandpa always watched Syracuse basketball). It's the moments when she gets worried that she doesn't have her keys and won't be able to get into the house when we're taking her home ("You don't live at that house anymore, Grandma"), and the moments when she tells us she can't remember why "Dad" couldn't join us (we don't bother to remind her that Grandpa died six years ago), that are awful. And they're more awful when my dad, my aunts, and my uncle are around, because as hard as it is to witness what age will do to what was once a very bright mind, it's harder to watch how much it hurts the immediate family her mind is gradually leaving behind.

At this point I'm wishing I took pictures with more than just my iPhone. 

I keep reminding myself that Grandma is 88, and while this condition just plain sucks, a lot of people don't make it to this point. In many ways she is doing well for 88. Her eyes are still bright and her smile is ever beautiful  (fingers crossed I inherited some of those genes). She is one of the few people in the whole facility who does not rely on a walker to get from point A to point B. And she is often shocked to learn she is 88. Youth is a mentality, not an age, right?

This trip, as they more often seem to be, was bittersweet. This is our new normal and although it's rough seeing Grandma in this state, the weekend was one of the nicest visits I've had with the rest of the  family in a very long time. I will always miss playing croquet in Grandma's back yard and enjoying her breakfast pastries, but it's fun to do something new and change up our traditions as the family dynamic changes. It makes me wonder--and look forward to--what else we might enjoy together as things continue to change. I really hope that those who couldn't make the trip are able to make the next one.

So that was my weekend. Family-filled, politics-free. How was your long weekend? Did you go on vacation? Check out the inauguration festivities?